Overflow

The Friday before the Monday C19 left for college out-of-state, neighbors we hadn’t met posted on social media that they were giving away a full-size bed, a few years old with limited wear-and-tear, with an almost-new mattress. Free.

That morning, C19 had awoken in the twin-over-full bunk beds he’d had since childhood. We asked if he’d like a new bed, even though he wouldn’t sleep it in often. He replied with an emphatic, “YES!”

We didn’t need more to do that weekend, but nevertheless we made arrangements to see the bed, and the owner, congenial and overly generous, helped us load the pieces into our minivan. He easily could have sold the bed/mattress, but he just wanted it gone. Two trips and less than a half-hour later, our kid had a new bed he loved.

Q13 liked it, too. Since his bed was the metal frame we’d found, free, when the crib-daybed-full bed frame that had served both our children finally cracked, he decided he’d be moving in to the new bed as soon as his brother left home.

Guy recognized that Little Brother, easy-going and uncomplaining as he was, had grown tired of hand-me-downs. He needed a new bed of his own. He also needed a show of provision from his parents. So he checked online and found another almost-new bed/mattress combo for sale at a ridiculously low price. He bought it, and wouldn’t you know?, it matched the existing decor of Q13’s room as if we’d planned it all along.

We donated all the matching bedding from the twin-over-full bunks to charity. We listed the bunk beds for sale, and the low purchase price was still enough to pay for the purchased bed plus new bedding for the free bed.

And somehow, we still had a good quality full-sized mattress left over. We gave it to a young friend in her first apartment + (low-paying) professional job.

We thought we didn’t have time for more in an already overly-full weekend. But generosity flows downhill. Someone generously giving something away led to more, and more, and more. In the end, our kids had new-to-them beds they love, we came out about even on the cash flow, and we still had things to give away.

God is good!

By the way, I was going to title this post “Pay It Forward,” but I’ve already used that title on another post about someone’s generosity. C19 still enjoys that gift when he’s home and driving about town!

Abundant Life
Week 2: Grace-Fueled Gratitude
Luke 7:36-50

Connect
Share about a generous gift you have received.

Study
Read aloud Luke 7:36-50.
Describe Simon. Describe the woman. How does each interact with Jesus?
How does Simon view the woman? How does Jesus view her?
How would you retell this story in a contemporary context? Who would play the Pharisee and the woman?
Based on this story, why do you think the religious establishment and “sinners” had such different reactions to Jesus?

Live
Write a Yelp! review for the banker who forgave your $36,000 debt (equivalent to 500 denarii today). How would your review reflect your gratitude?
How are you like the Pharisee? Like the woman?
What moves you about the woman’s response to Jesus? Does anything about her response unsettle you, and if so, why?
How can we demonstrate our gratitude to Jesus?
What prayers has God answered for you?
How do we prevent a pharisaical, judgmental mindset? In other words, how can we keep God’s grace in constant view?
What would it take for the Church to be as welcoming to sinners as Jesus was?
Discuss: “Appreciating beauty and giving thanks for life’s treasures is not living in denial of life’s suffering and challenges. It’s what helps us cope with life’s suffering and challenges” (Rene Schlaepfer).
Create a Generosity Project—something you can do, ideally with others, to demonstrate and share your gratitude to God with others.
What is God saying to you through this passage, and what will you do about it?

Pray
Ask God to help you stay grateful and reflect His generous spirit to others.

Gifting

“What do your kids want for Christmas?”

Honestly, I have no idea how to answer that question. Unlikely they’ve finally taken our “Need before Want” family value to heart, but they haven’t asked for much. Good thing, since we aren’t buying much. Black Friday came and went with only so much as a fleeting glance at the mall; instead we enjoyed the San Diego Zoo Safari Park for a few hours and then drove home to the Bay Area.

You might not notice if you come to visit (always more to do!), but we’ve spent considerable effort this year decluttering. I don’t want Christmas to add another pile of stuff to our small home. Thankfully we don’t need much and, thankfully, we don’t want for much.

However, a gift-less tree on Christmas morning would be depressing. We attempted it one year – one gift each, unwrapped in minutes – and it was sad. There is such real joy in giving and receiving; it’s a good thing. So we’re putting another set of values on the gifts we purchase: intangible, experiential, practical, meaningful.

Intangible: For people who already have so much, a gift given in their honor can be a meaningful gift. And it’s so easy!

From the time our kids were little, they’ve received a card in their stocking letting them know that a gift of socks and underwear has been donated to kids in an orphanage in the Dominican Republic. They think socks and underwear are funny (Boys!), and often this gift has accompanied socks & unders in their sizes. They understand that children everywhere need them, and especially so after we took them to the orphanage in the DR and they saw a levelor-paned window covered in hand-washed undies hung to dry.

Our church supports local and global mission partners through a Mission Market. You can buy backpacks of school supplies, clean water, warm blankets and jackets, shelter, sports equipment, education, food… the list goes on. Other organizations do similar good work, World Vision and Heifer International among them.

For the animal lover, you could give a gift of animal sponsorship through World Wildlife Fund – you choose a particular species of animal to adopt plus sponsorship level, and you receive small gifts (plush animal, sponsorship certificate, etc). Environmentalists and beach lovers might appreciate a membership to Surfrider Foundation.

Another special gift which comes with the possibility of relationship: child sponsorship. Our family has sponsored a boy in the Dominican Republic since our oldest son saw his picture on a table at an event eight years ago and declared, “This is my brother.” And so he is. When we took that Thanksgiving trip several years ago, we met him, talked with him, and our kids played soccer with him. We know other families who gave their kids “siblings” in other countries their same age and gender. It makes a huge difference in a child’s life as well as to your own family. We sponsor through Kids Alive; other organizations include Compassion International and World Vision.

Experiential: This is my favorite gift because it also creates memories. Buy tickets to a game, concert, play, even movie passes. Buy a restaurant gift card. Buy an annual pass to a museum or zoo. Give the gift of a trip: one of our kids is getting gear for a sporting trip while the other will receive warm gear for a weekend snow camp, both indicating a Yes to the trips themselves. Buy admission to a class. One year for my fall birthday, Guy bought us two spots in a glassblowing class where we made our own glass pumpkins. We had a new and fascinating experience, and we have darling glass pumpkins to decorate for fall.pumpkins

Practical: Give something the recipient will use, and best case use up – food or drink, candles, lotions, soaps, cosmetics, perfume or cologne. One of my favorite tuck-it-in girl gifts is OPI nail polish. It goes on well, comes in fabulous colors with humorous names, and it lasts. Bed, Bath & Beyond carries it for less than salons and you can use those 20% off coupons you get in every magazine you read.

Another favorite practical gift: books! This family loves to read and recommend books we’ve loved. Which also makes for a personal gift – if you receive a book from us, chances are high that we’ve read it, maybe even aloud, and loved it. Some of our recent favs: Where the Mountain Meets the Moon, Flora & Ulysses, Stargirl, The Genius Files series, Tiger Boy, Running for My Life, Orphan Train, The Rosie Project, and Me Before YouAnd while I’m still a big fan of reading books printed on paper, Amazon has Kindle Fires for a pretty great deal.

Meaningful: You can buy great stuff and simultaneously do good for the world. I have two fun and comfortable pairs of Punjammies from Sudara. Punjammies could be pajamas, but I wear them as pants. They’re bright, colorful, and easy to wear dressed up with jewelry and heels or down with Tshirt and flip-flops. Best part: they’re made (and each style named) for women rescued from sex slavery in India. I always get compliments when I wear them, which gives me opportunity to share about Sudara’s good work giving women a new lease on life. I also adore their new tote bags made in cooperation with Mulxiply, employing fair trade artists in Nepal.

punjammiestote

Fair trade is a social movement advocating and promoting equality in trade, especially among developing countries. For example, fair trade coffee or chocolate ensures that those who harvest the goods earn a fair wage for fair service. Profit doesn’t get to take advantage of those who make profit possible. You can buy chocolate from Hershey, but more than likely the cacao beans that became your chocolate bar were harvested by a child slave 12-16 years old. Or you can buy chocolate from Equal Exchange, Tcho, or Divine and get (even better!) chocolate sustainably harvested by people who receive a fair wage for their work. Make a good choice, get a good product, and do good for the world.

Two new-to-me organizations that came on solid recommendations and I can’t wait to check out: Youme Clothing and Serrv. And one more, from a high-end clothing company that vets their producers before – and during – their shared business ventures: Everlane. I have a few of their T-shirts (because they are surprisingly affordable) and they are my very favorite T-shirts ever.

Tomorrow we’re taking our kids to buy gifts for kids involved with some of our church’s local mission partners. The gifts we purchase may be among the only gifts these kids receive. Our kids will awake on Christmas Day to a gift-filled tree, and so it’s important to us that they also give. They give of their service in different ways throughout the year, but at this time of year when the cultural spotlight shines on what we will get, we want them to choose gifts for kids who might not have a full Christmas tree, who might not have a tree at all; kids they might never meet who have real needs they haven’t experienced.

I’d love to hear your holiday gift-giving values and ideas. Please share!